LPG EXPIRY DATE

Do you know that there is an expiry date (physical life) for LPG cylinders?

Most of us do not know this.

Expired Cylinders are not safe for use and may cause accidents.

In this regard please be cautious at the time of accepting any LPG cylinder from the vendor. Here is how we can check the expiry of LPG cylinders:

On one of three side stems of the cylinder, the expiry date is coded alpha numerically as follows A or B or C or D and some two digit number following this e.g. D06.

The alphabets stand for quarters -

A for March (First Qtr),

B for June (Second Qtr),

C for Sept (Third Qtr), &

D for December (Fourth Qtr).

The digits stand for the year till it is valid.

Hence D06 would mean Fourth Qtr (December) of 2006.

WEIGHT REDUCTION

One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day.
So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg.

They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps

a beautiful girl, with a sign saying " If you catch me, I'm yours ."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed.

Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there.

And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him.

Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg..

He's back on the street and starts to think.

"Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."

So he races back to the gym and says,

"I want to lose 20 more kg."

"No problem," says the manager.

Again he is led to the large gym.

This time he's standing by the door when it opens.

Out comes a Gorilla with a sign. " If I catch you, you're mine ."

WEIGHT REDUCTION

One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day.

So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg.

They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute.

He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps

a beautiful girl,

with a sign saying " If you catch me, I'm yours ."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed.

Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there.

And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him.

Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg..

He's back on the street and starts to think.

"Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."

So he races back to the gym and says,

"I want to lose 20 more kg."

"No problem," says the manager.

Again he is led to the large gym.

This time he's standing by the door when it opens.

Out comes a Gorilla with a sign. " If I catch you, you're mine ."

CLASSIC DEFINITIONS AND COOL MEANINGS

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such posts......

ACLS

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horroras her ball headed directly toward afoursome of men playing the next hole.The ball hit one of themen. He immediately clasped his handstogether at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to rollaround in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began toapologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know Icould relieve your pain if you'd allow me,'she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' theman replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, stillclasping his hands together at his groin.At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side,loosened his pants and put her hands inside.She administered tender and artful massage for several longmoments and asked,'How does that feel'?
He replied:
'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.

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WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS TREND?

INDIAN EXPRESS TUESDAY JULY1 2008 CALICUT

DR s FOR TEACHING IN CHINA-MEDICAL COLLEGES

process of recruiting teachers who have been teaching in various medical colleges in India as per MCI standard for our top Government Universities in China for the semester starting from 1st September 2008. The students to be taught are Indian and the teaching is in English.
--representing 7 universities in china for undergraduate MBBS program.
Usually the recruitment is for 4 &1/2 months to 1 year depending on the subject and the contract with the university or if the teacher wishes to continue in china in various universities could do so if he / she is willing.
--looking at MBBS graduates who have either been teaching or who are confident of teaching MBBS students in China.
People with MD qualification may also apply as Assistant Professors or Professors.
In Luzhou Medical College we have

Pharmacology, Emergency, oncology 1 teacher
Infectious diseases, Pathophysiology, Microbiology 1 teacher
Gynea, Jurisprudence 1 teacher
Nanchang University
Pharmacology - 1 teacher
Community medicine – 1 teacher
Xiamen University
Community medicine 1 teacher
In Dali University
Surgery and Infectious diseases) - 1 teacher

Southern Medical University & Jinan University Forensic Medicine - 1 teacher
FSM is only for two months in each college and so both Jinan University and SMU will share one teacher who can teach 2 months in each college as both the colleges are in the same city, Guangzhou
We require the following
1. Resume, including education and work experience, and recommendation letter from previous work unit. Please mention all the papers presented either national or international.
2. Health Certificate from a recognized organization.
3. Copy of highest degree diploma
4. Copy of passport and 10 passport photographs
5. TWO / THREE REFERENCE LETTERS

You will have to travel to China by 1st week of September 2008.
The facility provided by the university is
1. Air ticket 2 way once a year (initial ticket should be bought by the faculty, either one way or two way, because in some colleges the faculty need to go on tourist visa for which two way ticket is required and after reaching the college, the college will extend his / her visa
2. Reimbursement of one way air ticket will be done by college at the end of each semester.i.e one way for one semester upto 3000 RMB.
3. Initial visa processing will be done by us on payment of Rs.1000/- or as per Chinese embassy standard as visa processing fee if the faculty is traveling from India.
4. Free accommodation will be provided by the university.

Salary for tutors would be RMB 6500-7000 to be decided by the university depending on the experience and salary for MD will be totally decided by the university as the university.
No vacation salary will be paid by our universities
Other on hand information's
1. Recruitment would be usually between 4 ½ months to 9 months. One semester
is approximately 4 ½ months (March to July) and September to January is
another semester. In between there will be a vacation.
2. Mode of payment would be in RMB and usually it is cash payment.
1 RMB = 5 .3-5.5 Rupees.
3. Tax cut would range from 7% to 10%.
4. Monthly expenditure in china on personal expenses and food would be
Rs.3000 - 4000 per month.
5. 70% of the income can be transferred through bank to India.
6. 90% of the income would be saving.
8. All our colleges have Indian restaurants/canteens on the campus.
9. Teaching plan would be given by Dr. Bose.
10. All the teachers are required to take Overseas Travel Insurance which covers Medical too.

Kindly expedite dispatch of the documents at the earliest by email.
For more details about the colleges/universities, kindly visit our website www.saraswationline.com You can write to Dr. Bose, Dean Medical Education Department, and Saraswati online.com at dramitbose@yahoo.com 9945536087 and his China no. is 0086 15915744100
contact

Rekhaa
9980036089
rekhaa.n@saraswationline.com
Please send in all the papers to rekhaa.n@saraswationline.com
address is
Saraswati Online.com
Soundarya Paramount, I floor,
102, # 83 / 87, 5th Cross,
Malleswaram Circle
Bangalore 560003.
Ph: 23343169, 23343207

WORLD NATIONS

A world wide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question askedwas:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the foodshortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure,

In Africa they didn't know what 'food'meant,

In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant,

In Europe theydidn't know what 'shortage' meant,

In China they didn't know what'opinion' meant,

In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant,

In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And

in theUSA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!

SUPPORT GOVT ON PETROL PRICE HIKE!

I filled up my bike's fuel tank, and I thought fuel has become really expensive after the recent price hike.

But then I compared it with other common liquids and did some quick calculations, and I felt a little better.

To know why, see the results below - you'll be surprised at how outrageous some other prices are !

Diesel (regular) in Mumbai : Rs.36.08 per litre

Petrol (speed) in Mumbai : Rs.52 per litre

Coca Cola 330 ml can : Rs.20 = Rs.61 per litre

Dettol antiseptic 100 ml Rs.20 = Rs.200 per litre

Radiator coolant 500 ml Rs.160 = Rs.320 per litre

Pantene conditioner 400 ml Rs.165 = Rs.413 per litre

Medicinal mouthwash like Listerine 100 ml Rs.45 = Rs. 450 per litre

Red Bull 150 ml can : Rs.75 = Rs.500 per litre

Corex cough syrup 100 ml Rs.57 = Rs. 570 per litre

Evian water 500 ml Rs. 330 = Rs. 660 per litre Rs. 660 for a litre of WATER???!!! And the buyers don't even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Kores whiteout 15 ml Rs. 15 = Rs. 1000 per litre

Cup of coffee at any decent business hotel 100 ml Rs. 50 => Rs. 500 per litre

Old Spice after shave lotion 100 ml Rs. 175 = Rs. 1750 per litre

Pure almond oil 25 ml Rs. 68 = Rs. 2720 per litre

And this is the REAL KICKER...

HP deskjet colour ink cartridge 21 ml Rs.1900 = Rs.. 90476 per litre!!!

Now you know why computer printers are so cheap ? So they have you hooked for the ink !

So, the next time you're at the pump, don't curse our honorable Petroleum minister - just be glad your car doesn't run on cough syrup, after shave, coffee, or God forbid, printer ink !

When Income Tax slab were increased and overall benefit one got was almost 12000 Rs. in a year, tax saving.

In comparision to this, 50 Rs increase in per lpg cylindar would cost yearly average of> 600 Rs. would n't pinch Indian Middle Class.....So support this Government and Brave Manmahon Singh for taking this right step.