Sunday, September 7, 2008

GENEALOGY



A little girl asked her mother,
'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered,
'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered,
'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said,
'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,
and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered,
'Well, dear, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

TEST

1. A murderer is condemned to death.
He has to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires,
the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and
the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband.
Then she holds him under water for Over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both goout together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph.
I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it!
It is unusual though.
Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd.
But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
Try to do so without any coaching!
DON'T PEEK

ANSWERS:
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it and hung it up to dry.
3. Charcoal
4. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!
5. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph

BEST EMPLOYEE AWARD


ANT AND GRASSHOPPER



U.S VERSION

Ant & Grasshopper :

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its houseand laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays thesummer away.

Come winter ,the Ant is warm and well fed.

The Grasshopper has no foodor shelter so he dies out in the cold.


INDIAN Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its houseand laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & playsthe summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference anddemands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fedwhile others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shiveringGrasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with atable filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be that thispoor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demandingthat Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Governmentfor not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to theGrasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for promptsupport as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout.

Left parties call for 'Bharat Bandh'in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from workinghard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Antsand Grasshoppers.

BJP wants Sonia Gandhi's apology.Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all IndianRailway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of TerrorismAgainst Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning ofthe winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers inEducational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothingleft to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by theGovernment and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered byNDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.

CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'.

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly....

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollarcompany in Silicon Valley ..

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservationsomewhere in India ....

As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding theGrasshoppers,

India is still a developing country!!!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

FREE COLGATE PASTE




enter your details and you will get a sample of colgate tothpaste shipped to your home

Sunday, July 20, 2008

RETIREMENT DINNER




A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.
A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make
the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner.


He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.'


I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.


I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.


The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.


I was appalled.


But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people....... '


Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.


He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. '


I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician.


'In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.'


Moral: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE ! ! !

90/10



The 90/10 Principle

Author: Stephen Covey

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle?
10% of our life is made up of what happens to us. 90% of life is decided by how we react.

What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.
The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just have happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for chool. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.

You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is " D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds was what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry.
You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time".
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
She turns and waves.
You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios.
Both started the same. Both ended different. Why?
Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge.
Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day.
A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
Do you lose your temper?
Pound on the steering wheel?
A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off)
Do you curse?
Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work?
Why let the cars ruin yourdrive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry aboutit.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated?
It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant?
She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.
Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle.
Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible.
Very few know and apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.
We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change our lives.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

AVOID CELLPHONES WHILE DRIVING


TEACHER Vz STUDENTS




In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean.

The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name.........................(2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tire burst ?...............(98 MARKS)

a) Front Left

b) Front Right

c) Back Left

d) Back Right.....!!!

MOH SAUDI LOOKS FOR DRS

Ministry of Health, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is going to conduct an interview from AUGUST SECOND WEEK, 2008 AT DELHI, BANGALORE & MUMBAI
CONSULTANT : DOCTORATE OR ITS EQUIVALENT DEGREE +
3-2 YEARS EXPERIENCE.
SUPER SPECIALIST : FRESH DOCTORATE OR MASTER DEGREE +
5 YEARS EXPERIENCE
RESIDENT : MASTER DEGREE + 2 YEARS EXPERIENCE
ER DOCTOR : BACHELOR DEGREE + 2 YEARS EXPERIENCE

S.No
CATEGORY
BRANCHES
1
DENTISTRY
GENERAL DENTIST, CONSERVATIVE DENTIST, ORTHODONTIST, ENDODONTIST
2
RADIOLOGY
RADIO-DIAGNOSIS, INTERNAL, INTERVENTIONAL, NEUROLOGICAL, ENDOSCOPY
3
PEDIATRICS
GENERAL, NURO- PEDIATRICS, HEMO- PEDIATRICS
4
ANESTHISIOLOGY
GENERAL, CARDIAC ANESTHESIA, ANESTHESIA & OR, ANESTHESIA ICU, ICCU, ICU & NICU
5
INTERNAL MEDICINE
GENERAL MEDICINE, NEPHROLOGY, HEMATOLOGY, INFECTIOUS DISEASES ,GASTROENTEROLOGY, RHEUMATISM- NEONATALOGY & ENDOSCOPY
6
PSYCHIATRIC DISEASES
PSYCHIATRY, ADDICTION TREATMENT
7
EMERGENCY MEDICINE
INTERNAL MEDICINE, SURGERY & GENERAL
8
CARDIOLOGY
ECG, CARDIOLOGY, ECHO, INTERVENTIONAL CARDIOLOGY, CARDIAC SURGERY
9
SURGERY
GENERAL SURGERY,PEDIATRIC SURGERY, VASCULAR SURGERY , PLASTIC SURGERY & BURNS, THORACIC SURGERY AND NEUROSURGERY
10
ORTHOPEDICS
GENERAL, ENDOSCOPIC, JOINT REPLACEMENT & SPINAL SURGERY
11
PATHOLOGY
GENERAL, MICROBIOLOGY, HEMATOLOGY
12
ENT

13
OPTHALMOLOGY
MEDICAL & SURGICAL
14
OBSTETRICS & GYNAECOLOGY

15
CLINICAL PHARMACIST
MASTER + 3 YEARS EXPERIENCE


SENIOR TECHNICIAN : UNIVERSITY APPROVED DIPLOMA+ 5YEARS
EXP
TECHNICIAN : TWO YEARS TECHNICAL DIPLOMA AFTER
10+2 WITH 2 YEARS EXP.

16
PERFUSIONIST

17
ECHO

18
CATH LAB.

19
CARDIAC OT REHAHAB

20
CARDIAC ANAESTHISIA

21
ECG

22
PACEMAKER

23
CLINICAL PHARMACY

24
TECHNICIANS
MALE : EEG, NEURO TECH, CSSD
FEMALE : ANESTHESIA, OT, PHYSIOTHERAPY, CSSD

25
PSYCHIATRIC & ADDICTION NURSING
BACHELOR DEGREE + TWO YEARS EXP. OR DIPLOMA IN GENERAL NURSING + 3 YEARS EXP. IN PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITALS.

SALARY & PERKS
Total Tax Free Salary ( Salary as per the norms & conditions of MOH Rules)
Fully furnished family Accommodation Free (Only for Doctors)
Transportation Free
Medical Free
Yearly 45 days paid Leave
One year Renewable Contract up to 10 years.
Annual Increments.
send your detailed CV according to the required profile as mentioned above for each category on the following email id and also send the photocopies of all your credentials with two passport size photographs on the following addresses at the earliest.
For any other further assistance please contact .
THANKS & REGARDS
SALMA ALI
HR EXECUTIVE
Mob: 9891629599
DELHI MANPOWER EXPRESS
90, 3RD FLOOR,
OPP: ESCORTS HOSPITAL, SARAI JULLENA