TECHNINCAL SUPPORT

Tech Support: People wonder why they are paid so much.............for just being on the phone. Take a look.....

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Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer : "Ok"

Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." ==============================================

Tech Support : "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"

Customer : "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)

Tech Support : "Well then we can't-"

Customer : "It says 'no dial tone'."

Tech Support : "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to-"

Customer : "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through." Tech Support : "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me." Customer : "It must be busy. I'll try again later."

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Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"

Customer : "Pentium."

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Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion." ==================================================

Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."

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Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"

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Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly." Tech Support : "What does it say?"

Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside." ======================================================

Tech Support : "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer : "Is that Eastern time?" ===================================================

Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?

"Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support : "Well?"

Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"

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Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"

Customer : "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

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Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."

Customer : "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer : "What?"

Tech Support : "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer : "No..."

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Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support : "@#*?!%#$"

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Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer : "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

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Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer : "A white one."

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Tech Support : "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer : "How do you spell that?

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Tech Support : "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer : "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery ===================================