Sunday, September 7, 2008

GENEALOGY



A little girl asked her mother,
'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered,
'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered,
'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said,
'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,
and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered,
'Well, dear, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

TEST

1. A murderer is condemned to death.
He has to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires,
the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and
the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband.
Then she holds him under water for Over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both goout together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph.
I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it!
It is unusual though.
Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd.
But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
Try to do so without any coaching!
DON'T PEEK

ANSWERS:
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it and hung it up to dry.
3. Charcoal
4. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!
5. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph

BEST EMPLOYEE AWARD


ANT AND GRASSHOPPER



U.S VERSION

Ant & Grasshopper :

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its houseand laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays thesummer away.

Come winter ,the Ant is warm and well fed.

The Grasshopper has no foodor shelter so he dies out in the cold.


INDIAN Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its houseand laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & playsthe summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference anddemands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fedwhile others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shiveringGrasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with atable filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be that thispoor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demandingthat Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Governmentfor not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to theGrasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for promptsupport as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout.

Left parties call for 'Bharat Bandh'in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from workinghard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Antsand Grasshoppers.

BJP wants Sonia Gandhi's apology.Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all IndianRailway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of TerrorismAgainst Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning ofthe winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers inEducational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothingleft to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by theGovernment and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered byNDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.

CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'.

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly....

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollarcompany in Silicon Valley ..

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservationsomewhere in India ....

As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding theGrasshoppers,

India is still a developing country!!!