Monday, April 27, 2009

Monday, April 20, 2009

LEAVE LETTERS


" since i have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife,please sanction me 1 week leave"


From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."


from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."


"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."


"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"


An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."


to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"


to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."


"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."


"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".


"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

A HUMBLE PLEA TO THE PM

Krishna Iyer’s plea

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

INTERNET MOVIE DATABASE



if you are a hollywood movie aficianado,then this site is a must for you...!


The Internet Movie Database (IMDb) is a HUGE collection of movie information.

catalog every pertinent detail about a movie, from who was in it, to who made it, to trivia about it, to filming locations, and even where you can find reviews and fan sites on the web.

present this information in a manner that is easy to search and access.

The IMDb started as a hobby project by an international group of movie essentially something by movie fans for movie fans.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE AN AVERAGE LOOKING GIRL
















BECAUSE THESE DAYS........
COSMETICS CAN DO ANYHTING...!!

LOGIC



Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,Human - enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,Men that don't earn money = Donkeys

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,Women that don't spend = Donkeys

To Conclude:From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have? Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

HOW BIG ARE WE?
















CUSTOMER SERVICE



No one can make you serve customers well.


That`s because great service is a choice.


Years ago, Harvey Mackay, (Business Motivational Speaker & Inspirational Quotes - Harvey Mackay)told a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.


He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport.


When a cab pulled up,the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to abright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshlypressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car toopen the back passenger door for Harvey.


He handed him a laminated cardand said:`I`m Wally, your driver. While I`m loading your bags in the trunk I`d like you to read my mission statement.`


Taken aback, Harvey read thecard.


It said:Wally`s Mission Statement:To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.


This blew Harvey away.


Especially when he noticed that the inside ofthe cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!


As he slid behind thewheel, Wally said, `Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos ofregular and one of decaf.`


Harvey said jokingly, `No, I`d prefer a soft drink.`


Wally smiled and said, `No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.`


Almost stuttering, Harvey said, `I`ll take a Diet Coke.`


Handing him his drink, Wally said, `If you`d like something to read,


Ihave The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.`


As they were pulling away, Wally handed him another laminated card.`


These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you`d like tolisten to the radio.`


And as if that weren`t enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the airconditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.


Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for thattime of day.


He also let him know that he`d be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him withhis own thoughts.`


Tell me, Wally,` Harvey asked the driver, `have you always served customers like this?


`Wally smiled into the rearview mirror. `No, not always. In fact, it'sonly been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spentmost of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio oneday.


He had just written a book called You`ll See It When You BelieveIt.


Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a badday, you`ll rarely disappoint yourself.


He said, `Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from yourcompetition.


Don`t be a duck. Be an eagle.


Ducks quack and complain.


Eagles soar above the crowd.```


That hit me right between the eyes,` said Wally. `Dyer was reallytalking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decidedto change my attitude and become an eagle.


I looked around at the othercabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers wereunfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make somechanges. I put in a few at a time.


When my customers responded well, Idid more.``I take it that has paid off for you,`


Harvey said. `It sure has,`Wally replied. `


My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from theprevious year. This year I`ll probably quadruple it. You were lucky toget me today.


I don`t sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call mefor appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answeringmachine.


If I can`t pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friendto do it and I take a piece of the action.`


Wally was phenomenal.


He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. Harvey probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it.


WheneverHarvey went to their cities, he would give them a call.


The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told him all the reasons they couldn`t do any of what he was suggesting.


Johnny the Bagger and Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice.


They decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.


How about you? Apply it in your own businesses and homes and see the change around you

WORD JUMBLE

DILIP VENGSARKAR

When you rearrange the letters:

SPARKLING DRIVE

PRINCESS DIANA

When you rearrange the letters:

END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY

When you rearrange the letters:

NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER

DESPERATION

When you rearrange the letters:A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:

When you rearrange theletters:THEY SEE

A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:IM A DOT IN PLACE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:WOMAN HITLER

ASHAMED
















It hurts me... Does this hurt you?
WHO Deserves MORE?


The India cricket team bus. & DON'T MISS the VIJAY RATH
Now lets have a look at the luxury our commandos had after their 60 hours sleepless battle!!!
The Black Cat (NSG) commando bus after operation at TAJ .
WHICH VICTORY WAS CRITICAL???
What a shame and disgrace to every citizen of India that the elite NSG Force was transported into ordinary BEST buses,
whereas our cricketers are transported into state of the art luxury buses,
these Jawans lay down their lives to protect every Indian and
these cricketers get paid even if they lose a match,
we worship these cricketers and forget the martyrdom of these brave Jawans.
The Jawans should be paid the salaries of the cricketers and
the cricketers should be paid the salaries of the Jawans.

can Withdraw all protection of commandos provided to I.P. , V.I.P. and V.V.I.P. (As they are affluent and rich enough to have security of their own) and
instead put these commandos to protect our children and general public.
Guys lets utilize our votes sensibly, that's the least we can do


A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.


He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"


She replied, "I'm having a baby."


With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"


She answered, "He sure is."


Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"


She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."


With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked


----


----


----


"Then why did you eat him?"

ILLUSION


When you look at this picture close up, you see Albert Einstein,

TRY THIS

http://www.quizyourprofile.com/guessyournumber.swf

http://www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html

Just click on this link n use ur common sense to navigate. It has 23 pages one after the other, starting from this firstpage. The trick is to find a way to go to the next page. If u can really go to the 23rd page ur a genius in ur own respect :) So best of luck n keep clicking, tik tik ....

IS INDIA A POOR COUNTRY


Revelation of Swiss bank accounts
This is so shocking.......If black money deposits was an Olympics event.... India would have won a gold medal hands down.

The second best Russia has 4 times lesser deposit. U.S. is not even there in the counting in top five! India has more money in Swiss banks than all the other countries combined!
Recently, due to international pressure, the Swiss government agreed to disclose the names of the account holders only if the respective governments formally asked for it. Indian government is not asking for the details.......no marks for guessing why?
We need to start a movement to pressurise the government to do so! This is perhaps the only way, and a golden opportunity, to expose the high and mighty and weed out corruption!
Please read on......and forward to all the honest Indians to.....like somebody is forwarding to you.......and build a ground-swell of support for action!
Is India poor, who says? Ask the Swiss banks. With personal account deposit bank of $1,500 billion in foreign reserve which have been misappropriated, an amount 13 times larger than the country's foreign debt, one needs to rethink if India is a poor country?
DISHONEST INDUSTRIALISTS, scandalous politicians and corrupt IAS, IRS, IPS officers have deposited in foreign banks in their illegal personal accounts a sum of about $1500 billion, which have been misappropriated by them. This amount is about 13 times larger than the country's foreign debt. With this amount 45 crore poor people can get Rs 1,00,000 each. This huge amount has been appropriated from the people of India by exploiting and betraying them. Once this huge amount of black money and property comes back to India , the entire foreign debt can be repaid in 24 hours. After paying the entire foreign debt, we will have surplus amount, almost 12 times larger than the foreign debt.

If this surplus amount is invested in earning interest, the amount of interest will be more than the annual budget of the Central government. So even if all the taxes are abolished, then also the Central government will be able to maintain the country very comfortably.
Some 80,000 people travel to Switzerland every year, of whom 25,000 travel very frequently. 'Obviously, these people won't be tourists. They must be travelling there for some other reason,' believes an official involved in tracking illegal money.

And, clearly, he isn't referring to the commerce ministry bureaucrats who've been flitting in and out of Geneva ever since the World Trade Organisation (WTO) negotiations went into a tailspin!
Just read the following details and note how these dishonest industrialists, scandalous politicians, corrupt officers, cricketers, film actors, illegal sex trade and protected wildlife operators, to name just a few, sucked this country's wealth and prosperity. This may be the picture of deposits in Swiss banks only. What about other international banks?
Black money in Swiss banks -- Swiss Banking Association report, 2006 details bank deposits in the territory of Switzerland by nationals of following countries:
TOP FIVE
INDIA $1,456 BILLION

RUSSIA $470 BILLION

U.K. $390 BILLION

UKRAINE $100 BILLION

CHINA $96 BILLION
Now do the math's - India with $1,456 billion or $1.4 trillion has more money in Swiss banks than rest of the world combined.

Public loot since 1947:
Can we bring back our money? It is one of the biggest loots witnessed by mankind -- the loot of the Aam Aadmi (common man) since 1947, by his brethren occupying public office. It has been orchestrated by politicians, bureaucrats and some businessmen.
The list is almost all-encompassing. No wonder, everyone in India loots with impunity and without any fear.

What is even more depressing in that this ill-gotten wealth of ours has been stashed away abroad into secret bank accounts located in some of the world's best known tax havens. And to that extent the Indian economy has been stripped of its wealth. Ordinary Indians may not be exactly aware of how such secret accounts operate and what are the rules and regulations that go on to govern such tax havens.

However, one may well be aware of 'Swiss bank accounts,' the shorthand for murky dealings, secrecy and of course pilferage from developing countries into rich developed ones.
In fact, some finance experts and economists believe tax havens to be a conspiracy of the western world against the poor countries. By allowing the proliferation of tax havens in the twentieth century, the western world explicitly encourages the movement of scarce capital from the developing countries to the rich. In March 2005, the Tax Justice Network (TJN) published a research finding demonstrating that $11.5 trillion of personal wealth was held offshore by rich individuals across the globe.
The findings estimated that a large proportion of this wealth was managed from some 70 tax havens. Further, augmenting these studies of TJN, Raymond Baker -- in his widely celebrated book titled 'Capitalism's Achilles Heel: Dirty Money and How to Renew the Free Market System' -- estimates that at least $5 trillion have been shifted out of poorer countries to the West since the mid-1970.
It is further estimated by experts that one per cent of the world's population holds more than 57 per cent of total global wealth, routing it invariably through these tax havens. How much of this is from India is anybody's guess.
What is to be noted here is that most of the wealth of Indians parked in these tax havens is illegitimate money acquired through corrupt means. Naturally, the secrecy associated with the bank accounts in such places is central to the issue, not their low tax rates as the term 'tax havens' suggests. Remember Bofors and how India could not trace the ultimate beneficiary of those transactions because of the secrecy associated with these bank accounts?
IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN SAVE INDIA?

A POEM FOR YOU TO THINK


I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load..
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

HOW TO BE UNFORGETTABLE


A piece of being a Leader Without a Title involves being so brilliant, gifted and human at what you do that people cannot forget who you are.

Your good name becomes tattooed on the minds and hearts of everyone whose lives you touch. Hoards of roving ambassadors tell everyone they know about the experience you created for them - and of your rare air genius.

That's the space you need to play at.

To succeed in business today.

4 Best Practices I teach to my clients that will help you get there:

1. Keep Your Promises.

Trust lives at the foundation of every great relationship. And business is all about relationships. When people like you, they buy from you - and help you in all ways. By becoming impeccable with your word, trust grows wildly.

2. Be BIW (Best in World).

Being excellent at what you do is just the price of admission in our globalized, uber-connected world. To succeed and be truly unforgettable, may I suggest that the standard you play at is The Best in The World. At my leadership seminars I sometimes run an exercise that begins with this question: "what 10 things would the person who is best in the world at what you do be doing on a regular basis that you are not doing?". Start your list.

3. Be Radically Ethical.

The pristine reputation that took you decades to build could be torn down in 60 seconds of bad judgment. Seriously. Just watch the news these days and you'll get what I mean.

To show leadership in business (and life) today, it's mission-critical to be radically ethical. No dishonorable move goes unnoticed. Decency wins.

4. Be fun.

Whatever happened to fun? Stop taking life so seriously. Generate the ability to laugh - even at the toughest of times. You become unforgettable - and irresistible the moment you lighten up. And get that smile back on your face.

Life's a short ride when you really think about it. Might be smart to enjoy every turn of it.
- Robin Sharma (Author of 'The Monk who sold his ferrari' and Leadership guru)

DIL HINDUSTANI



He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bankwill need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.

The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?

"The Indian replies: Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'

Ah, the mind of the Indian... This is why India is shining

THE RING



A young man walked into a jeweller's shop late one Friday, with abeautiful young lady on his side.
"I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend" he said.
The jeweller looks through his stock, and takes out an outstanding ringpriced at $4500.
"I don't think you understand ... I want something very unique", hesaid. At that, the jeweller went and fetched his special stock from thesafe." Here's one stunning ring at $33000."
The girls' eyes sparkled, and the young man said that he would take it.
"How are you paying?"


"I'll pay by cheque, but of course the bankwould want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a cheque and you can phone the bank Monday and I'll collect the ring onMonday afternoon".
Monday morning a very irritated jeweller phones the man." You liedthere's no money in that account."
"I know, but you CAN'T imagine what a Fantastic WEEKEND I had????"

CONFIDENCE, TRUST & NEVER LOSE HOPE!

CONFIDENCE
Once, all village people decided to pray for rain.
On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy
came with an Umbrella
that's Confidence
TRUST
Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby
when you throw him in the air, he laughs......
because he knows you will catch him;
that's Trust
HOPE
Every night we go to bed,
we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning
but still you have plans for the coming day ;
that's Hope