Sunday, September 7, 2008

GENEALOGY



A little girl asked her mother,
'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered,
'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered,
'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said,
'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,
and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered,
'Well, dear, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

TEST

1. A murderer is condemned to death.
He has to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires,
the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and
the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband.
Then she holds him under water for Over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both goout together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph.
I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it!
It is unusual though.
Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd.
But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
Try to do so without any coaching!
DON'T PEEK

ANSWERS:
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it and hung it up to dry.
3. Charcoal
4. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!
5. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph

BEST EMPLOYEE AWARD


ANT AND GRASSHOPPER



U.S VERSION

Ant & Grasshopper :

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its houseand laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays thesummer away.

Come winter ,the Ant is warm and well fed.

The Grasshopper has no foodor shelter so he dies out in the cold.


INDIAN Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its houseand laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & playsthe summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference anddemands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fedwhile others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shiveringGrasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with atable filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be that thispoor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demandingthat Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Governmentfor not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to theGrasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for promptsupport as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout.

Left parties call for 'Bharat Bandh'in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from workinghard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Antsand Grasshoppers.

BJP wants Sonia Gandhi's apology.Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all IndianRailway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of TerrorismAgainst Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning ofthe winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers inEducational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothingleft to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by theGovernment and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered byNDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.

CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'.

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly....

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollarcompany in Silicon Valley ..

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservationsomewhere in India ....

As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding theGrasshoppers,

India is still a developing country!!!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

FREE COLGATE PASTE




enter your details and you will get a sample of colgate tothpaste shipped to your home

Sunday, July 20, 2008

RETIREMENT DINNER




A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.
A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make
the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner.


He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.'


I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.


I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.


The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.


I was appalled.


But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people....... '


Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.


He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. '


I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician.


'In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.'


Moral: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE ! ! !

90/10



The 90/10 Principle

Author: Stephen Covey

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle?
10% of our life is made up of what happens to us. 90% of life is decided by how we react.

What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.
The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just have happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for chool. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.

You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is " D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds was what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry.
You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time".
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
She turns and waves.
You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios.
Both started the same. Both ended different. Why?
Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge.
Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day.
A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
Do you lose your temper?
Pound on the steering wheel?
A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off)
Do you curse?
Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work?
Why let the cars ruin yourdrive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry aboutit.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated?
It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant?
She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.
Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle.
Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible.
Very few know and apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.
We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change our lives.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

AVOID CELLPHONES WHILE DRIVING


TEACHER Vz STUDENTS




In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean.

The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name.........................(2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tire burst ?...............(98 MARKS)

a) Front Left

b) Front Right

c) Back Left

d) Back Right.....!!!

MOH SAUDI LOOKS FOR DRS

Ministry of Health, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is going to conduct an interview from AUGUST SECOND WEEK, 2008 AT DELHI, BANGALORE & MUMBAI
CONSULTANT : DOCTORATE OR ITS EQUIVALENT DEGREE +
3-2 YEARS EXPERIENCE.
SUPER SPECIALIST : FRESH DOCTORATE OR MASTER DEGREE +
5 YEARS EXPERIENCE
RESIDENT : MASTER DEGREE + 2 YEARS EXPERIENCE
ER DOCTOR : BACHELOR DEGREE + 2 YEARS EXPERIENCE

S.No
CATEGORY
BRANCHES
1
DENTISTRY
GENERAL DENTIST, CONSERVATIVE DENTIST, ORTHODONTIST, ENDODONTIST
2
RADIOLOGY
RADIO-DIAGNOSIS, INTERNAL, INTERVENTIONAL, NEUROLOGICAL, ENDOSCOPY
3
PEDIATRICS
GENERAL, NURO- PEDIATRICS, HEMO- PEDIATRICS
4
ANESTHISIOLOGY
GENERAL, CARDIAC ANESTHESIA, ANESTHESIA & OR, ANESTHESIA ICU, ICCU, ICU & NICU
5
INTERNAL MEDICINE
GENERAL MEDICINE, NEPHROLOGY, HEMATOLOGY, INFECTIOUS DISEASES ,GASTROENTEROLOGY, RHEUMATISM- NEONATALOGY & ENDOSCOPY
6
PSYCHIATRIC DISEASES
PSYCHIATRY, ADDICTION TREATMENT
7
EMERGENCY MEDICINE
INTERNAL MEDICINE, SURGERY & GENERAL
8
CARDIOLOGY
ECG, CARDIOLOGY, ECHO, INTERVENTIONAL CARDIOLOGY, CARDIAC SURGERY
9
SURGERY
GENERAL SURGERY,PEDIATRIC SURGERY, VASCULAR SURGERY , PLASTIC SURGERY & BURNS, THORACIC SURGERY AND NEUROSURGERY
10
ORTHOPEDICS
GENERAL, ENDOSCOPIC, JOINT REPLACEMENT & SPINAL SURGERY
11
PATHOLOGY
GENERAL, MICROBIOLOGY, HEMATOLOGY
12
ENT

13
OPTHALMOLOGY
MEDICAL & SURGICAL
14
OBSTETRICS & GYNAECOLOGY

15
CLINICAL PHARMACIST
MASTER + 3 YEARS EXPERIENCE


SENIOR TECHNICIAN : UNIVERSITY APPROVED DIPLOMA+ 5YEARS
EXP
TECHNICIAN : TWO YEARS TECHNICAL DIPLOMA AFTER
10+2 WITH 2 YEARS EXP.

16
PERFUSIONIST

17
ECHO

18
CATH LAB.

19
CARDIAC OT REHAHAB

20
CARDIAC ANAESTHISIA

21
ECG

22
PACEMAKER

23
CLINICAL PHARMACY

24
TECHNICIANS
MALE : EEG, NEURO TECH, CSSD
FEMALE : ANESTHESIA, OT, PHYSIOTHERAPY, CSSD

25
PSYCHIATRIC & ADDICTION NURSING
BACHELOR DEGREE + TWO YEARS EXP. OR DIPLOMA IN GENERAL NURSING + 3 YEARS EXP. IN PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITALS.

SALARY & PERKS
Total Tax Free Salary ( Salary as per the norms & conditions of MOH Rules)
Fully furnished family Accommodation Free (Only for Doctors)
Transportation Free
Medical Free
Yearly 45 days paid Leave
One year Renewable Contract up to 10 years.
Annual Increments.
send your detailed CV according to the required profile as mentioned above for each category on the following email id and also send the photocopies of all your credentials with two passport size photographs on the following addresses at the earliest.
For any other further assistance please contact .
THANKS & REGARDS
SALMA ALI
HR EXECUTIVE
Mob: 9891629599
DELHI MANPOWER EXPRESS
90, 3RD FLOOR,
OPP: ESCORTS HOSPITAL, SARAI JULLENA

Thursday, July 3, 2008

LPG EXPIRY DATE



Do you know that there is an expiry date (physical life) for LPG cylinders?

Most of us do not know this.

Expired Cylinders are not safe for use and may cause accidents.

In this regard please be cautious at the time of accepting any LPG cylinder from the vendor. Here is how we can check the expiry of LPG cylinders:

On one of three side stems of the cylinder, the expiry date is coded alpha numerically as follows A or B or C or D and some two digit number following this e.g. D06.

The alphabets stand for quarters -

A for March (First Qtr),

B for June (Second Qtr),

C for Sept (Third Qtr), &

D for December (Fourth Qtr).

The digits stand for the year till it is valid.

Hence D06 would mean Fourth Qtr (December) of 2006.

WEIGHT REDUCTION



One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day.
So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg.

They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps
a beautiful girl, with a sign saying " If you catch me, I'm yours ."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed.
Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there.
And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him.
Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg..

He's back on the street and starts to think.
"Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."
So he races back to the gym and says,
"I want to lose 20 more kg."
"No problem," says the manager.
Again he is led to the large gym.
This time he's standing by the door when it opens.

Out comes a Gorilla with a sign. " If I catch you, you're mine ."

WEIGHT REDUCTION



One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day.

So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg.

They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute.

He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps

a beautiful girl,

with a sign saying " If you catch me, I'm yours ."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed.

Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there.

And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him.

Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg..

He's back on the street and starts to think.

"Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."

So he races back to the gym and says,

"I want to lose 20 more kg."

"No problem," says the manager.

Again he is led to the large gym.

This time he's standing by the door when it opens.

Out comes a Gorilla with a sign. " If I catch you, you're mine ."

CLASSIC DEFINITIONS AND COOL MEANINGS



1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such posts......

ACLS



Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horroras her ball headed directly toward afoursome of men playing the next hole.The ball hit one of themen. He immediately clasped his handstogether at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to rollaround in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began toapologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know Icould relieve your pain if you'd allow me,'she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' theman replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, stillclasping his hands together at his groin.At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side,loosened his pants and put her hands inside.She administered tender and artful massage for several longmoments and asked,'How does that feel'?
He replied:
'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.

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INDIAN EXPRESS TUESDAY JULY1 2008 CALICUT

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

DR s FOR TEACHING IN CHINA-MEDICAL COLLEGES

process of recruiting teachers who have been teaching in various medical colleges in India as per MCI standard for our top Government Universities in China for the semester starting from 1st September 2008. The students to be taught are Indian and the teaching is in English.
--representing 7 universities in china for undergraduate MBBS program.
Usually the recruitment is for 4 &1/2 months to 1 year depending on the subject and the contract with the university or if the teacher wishes to continue in china in various universities could do so if he / she is willing.
--looking at MBBS graduates who have either been teaching or who are confident of teaching MBBS students in China.
People with MD qualification may also apply as Assistant Professors or Professors.
In Luzhou Medical College we have

Pharmacology, Emergency, oncology 1 teacher
Infectious diseases, Pathophysiology, Microbiology 1 teacher
Gynea, Jurisprudence 1 teacher
Nanchang University
Pharmacology - 1 teacher
Community medicine – 1 teacher
Xiamen University
Community medicine 1 teacher
In Dali University
Surgery and Infectious diseases) - 1 teacher

Southern Medical University & Jinan University Forensic Medicine - 1 teacher
FSM is only for two months in each college and so both Jinan University and SMU will share one teacher who can teach 2 months in each college as both the colleges are in the same city, Guangzhou
We require the following
1. Resume, including education and work experience, and recommendation letter from previous work unit. Please mention all the papers presented either national or international.
2. Health Certificate from a recognized organization.
3. Copy of highest degree diploma
4. Copy of passport and 10 passport photographs
5. TWO / THREE REFERENCE LETTERS

You will have to travel to China by 1st week of September 2008.
The facility provided by the university is
1. Air ticket 2 way once a year (initial ticket should be bought by the faculty, either one way or two way, because in some colleges the faculty need to go on tourist visa for which two way ticket is required and after reaching the college, the college will extend his / her visa
2. Reimbursement of one way air ticket will be done by college at the end of each semester.i.e one way for one semester upto 3000 RMB.
3. Initial visa processing will be done by us on payment of Rs.1000/- or as per Chinese embassy standard as visa processing fee if the faculty is traveling from India.
4. Free accommodation will be provided by the university.

Salary for tutors would be RMB 6500-7000 to be decided by the university depending on the experience and salary for MD will be totally decided by the university as the university.
No vacation salary will be paid by our universities
Other on hand information's
1. Recruitment would be usually between 4 ½ months to 9 months. One semester
is approximately 4 ½ months (March to July) and September to January is
another semester. In between there will be a vacation.
2. Mode of payment would be in RMB and usually it is cash payment.
1 RMB = 5 .3-5.5 Rupees.
3. Tax cut would range from 7% to 10%.
4. Monthly expenditure in china on personal expenses and food would be
Rs.3000 - 4000 per month.
5. 70% of the income can be transferred through bank to India.
6. 90% of the income would be saving.
8. All our colleges have Indian restaurants/canteens on the campus.
9. Teaching plan would be given by Dr. Bose.
10. All the teachers are required to take Overseas Travel Insurance which covers Medical too.

Kindly expedite dispatch of the documents at the earliest by email.
For more details about the colleges/universities, kindly visit our website www.saraswationline.com You can write to Dr. Bose, Dean Medical Education Department, and Saraswati online.com at dramitbose@yahoo.com 9945536087 and his China no. is 0086 15915744100
contact

Rekhaa
9980036089
rekhaa.n@saraswationline.com
Please send in all the papers to rekhaa.n@saraswationline.com
address is
Saraswati Online.com
Soundarya Paramount, I floor,
102, # 83 / 87, 5th Cross,
Malleswaram Circle
Bangalore 560003.
Ph: 23343169, 23343207

Monday, June 16, 2008

WORLD NATIONS


A world wide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question askedwas:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the foodshortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure,

In Africa they didn't know what 'food'meant,

In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant,

In Europe theydidn't know what 'shortage' meant,

In China they didn't know what'opinion' meant,

In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant,

In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And

in theUSA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!

SUPPORT GOVT ON PETROL PRICE HIKE!



I filled up my bike's fuel tank, and I thought fuel has become really expensive after the recent price hike.

But then I compared it with other common liquids and did some quick calculations, and I felt a little better.

To know why, see the results below - you'll be surprised at how outrageous some other prices are !

Diesel (regular) in Mumbai : Rs.36.08 per litre

Petrol (speed) in Mumbai : Rs.52 per litre

Coca Cola 330 ml can : Rs.20 = Rs.61 per litre

Dettol antiseptic 100 ml Rs.20 = Rs.200 per litre

Radiator coolant 500 ml Rs.160 = Rs.320 per litre

Pantene conditioner 400 ml Rs.165 = Rs.413 per litre

Medicinal mouthwash like Listerine 100 ml Rs.45 = Rs. 450 per litre

Red Bull 150 ml can : Rs.75 = Rs.500 per litre

Corex cough syrup 100 ml Rs.57 = Rs. 570 per litre

Evian water 500 ml Rs. 330 = Rs. 660 per litre Rs. 660 for a litre of WATER???!!! And the buyers don't even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Kores whiteout 15 ml Rs. 15 = Rs. 1000 per litre

Cup of coffee at any decent business hotel 100 ml Rs. 50 => Rs. 500 per litre

Old Spice after shave lotion 100 ml Rs. 175 = Rs. 1750 per litre

Pure almond oil 25 ml Rs. 68 = Rs. 2720 per litre

And this is the REAL KICKER...

HP deskjet colour ink cartridge 21 ml Rs.1900 = Rs.. 90476 per litre!!!

Now you know why computer printers are so cheap ? So they have you hooked for the ink !


So, the next time you're at the pump, don't curse our honorable Petroleum minister - just be glad your car doesn't run on cough syrup, after shave, coffee, or God forbid, printer ink !

When Income Tax slab were increased and overall benefit one got was almost 12000 Rs. in a year, tax saving.

In comparision to this, 50 Rs increase in per lpg cylindar would cost yearly average of> 600 Rs. would n't pinch Indian Middle Class.....So support this Government and Brave Manmahon Singh for taking this right step.

Monday, April 7, 2008

CRAZY THOUGHTS



Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?

Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If a man alone in the woods said something would a woman still say he was wrong?

Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

What would you use to dilute water?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?


MANY MORE AT........

Thursday, March 20, 2008

FREE HEART SURGERY

If you Know someone, who is suffering from this, please send the following documents:-
Last Echo Report
Covering letter mentioning the following things
-> Patients' name
-> Age
-> Height
-> Weight
-> Full address of Parents of the Patient
-> Mobile number
-> Email ID
All the documents should be send to the institute FAX NUMBER given below.
Put an email to the institute authorities for the same.
Please forward this to the people u know, because most of the children who are having heart problems, their parents can't afford the operation.
For any kind of heart surgery free of cost
....Contact:
Sri Sathya Sai Institute Higher Medical Sciences,
E.P.I.P. Area,
WhiteField,
Bangalore.
Write to us
Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences
EPIP Area, Whitefield, Bangalore - 560 066, Karnataka , INDIA .
Call us
Telephone: +91- 080- 28411500
Fax +91 - 080- 28411502
Employment related +91- 080- 28411500 Ext. 415
Email us
General Queries: adminblr@sssihms. org.in

VADA SUTTA KAHANI HAI

Daadi maa vada sutta story hai!!
Ek gaon mein, ek dadi maa reheytha hein!!
Woh daadi maa, bohoth acha vadai sudutha hein.
Ek din, ek kouvva hai, aatha hai.
Woh kaka, vadai suttu hai, ek maram meley poi kundhu kartha hai.
woh samay, ek Nari udhar aarahey hai.
Woh nari, us kaaka se bolta hai.. kouvva kouvva, thumara aawaz acha hai, thum ek ghaana gaao naaaaaaaaa.. .
woh. kouvva.. ghaana ghaanekey shuru kartha hein..
woh vada.. neechey aaraha hein.
Nari, uskey labak karkey, escape kartha hein.
--yeh kahani mera own nahin hai...
Orkut- mey naan sutta kahani hai..
mein ungalki share kartha hai...
NIMMALUM FORWARD KARTHA HAI……
NANDRI HAI....

Friday, March 14, 2008

FOR MBBS DOCTORS

Job Title: - Medical Consultant, HealthcareMagic.
Qualifications: - MBBS with 1 to 7 years of clinical experience
Location: - Bangalore
Remuneration and Work Environment: - Salary will be at par with industry standards.
The working atmosphere would be corporate style, white collared.
About Company: -Health! careMagic (www.healthcaremagic.com) is a company that brings the healthcare service providers and end customers together on a web and mobile based platform. We empower the users to select the best medical and healthcare service available by using a unique localized healthcare portal and call center. The venture is led by professional entrepreneurs from IITs and IIMs who have successful track records of starting a company from scratch and growing it big.
Skills & Experience: - Medical Skills: - Competent in general physician level medical case management. i.e. good history taking skills, well versed with common diagnoses
Languages Known: - Good English Language skills (written and sp! oken).
Computer Skills: - Good internet user and conversant with Microsoft Office applications.
Soft Skills: - Good communication skills, Initiative..
Experience: - We are looking for MBBS doctors who have actively practiced for 1 to 7 years, in a hospital/clinic/private practice setting.
Job Description: -The Medical Consultant would have the following responsibilities-
On chat medical consultations: - The Medical Consultant will answer online live chat from patients looking for general! medical advice for their medical problems. The consultant will draw on his medical knowledge and experience to suggest the best medical management plan for the particular patient. E-mail medical consultations: - Replying medical queries received through email.
Referral service: - Along with the medical management plan provided by the Medical Consultant in the above three modes of consultation, he/she would be required to provide sound referral advise to the patient. A database of specialist doctors, hospitals and diagnostic facilities is built into our system to aid the decision making of the Medical Consultant.
Documentation & Protocol Building: - The Medical Consultant would be actively involved w! ith the management team in building protocols and processes fo! r online / mail consultation. The consultant will also be involved in creating content for the portal.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Thursday, February 28, 2008

WEBSITES FOR DOCTORS

Www.Pgmedicalentrance.Org has been specially designed for enriching knowledge of medical graduates preparing for MD and MS entrance exam, Dr R C Thampan, Head of Department of Surgery, Government General Hospital (beach), Kozhikode said.

The other site, Www.Msdnbsurgreview.Org, has been designed to benefit the postgraduate students preparing for MS and DNB examinations in general surgery, he said.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

EFFORT


Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed?
The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.
Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and
when he arrived, he immediately went to work.
He inspected the engine verycarefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer.
He gently tapped something.
Instantly, the engine lurched into life.
He carefully put his hammer away.
The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying,
"Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer ...................... . $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ............................ $ 9998.00
Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.

GRIEVANCE FORUM - LET'S CHANGE INDIA


Can you imagine this is happening in INDIA ?
Government of India has an online Grievance forum at
http://darpg-grievance.nic.in/
The government wants people to use this tool to highlight the problems they faced while dealing with Government officials or departments like Passport Office, Electricity board, BSNL/MTNL, Railways etc.
I know many people will say that these things don't work in India , but this actually works
So use this grievance forum and educate others who don't know about this facility.
This way we can at least raise our concerns instead of just talking about the ' System ' in India . Invite your friends to contribute for many such happenings.
SPREAD THIS MESSAGE IF U WANT OUR INDIA TO CHANGE.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

ONLY FOR JOKE

The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:
"I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy.
But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon,
we have copies of everything."

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would liketo express my condolencesto you.
It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs...I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that........
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it inAmerica now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back inan hour!

Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in abar. A guy walks in and asksthe barman,
"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them."So the guy walks over and says,
"Hello, what areyou guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're goingto kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicyclerepairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repair man?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says,
"See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14million Pakistanis!"

Pakistani on the moon:
Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani onthe moon?
A: Problem...Q:
What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?
A: ...... Problem Solved!!!

A man is taking a walk in Centralpark in New York.
Suddenlyhe sees a little girlbeing attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog.
He succeeds inkilling the dog andsaving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says:
"You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:
"Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says: "But I am not a NewYorker!"
Oh then it will say in newspapers inthe morning:
"Brave American saves life of littlegirl"
the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - saysthe man.
Oh, what are you then?"
The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers say:
"Extremist kills innocent American dog".

SILLY QUIZ

1.. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the userdoesn't even see it.
What is it?
2.. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?3.. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?
4.. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
5.. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
6.. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to makeone word? Note: There is only one correct answer.
7.. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg *are* white" or "The yolk Of the egg *is* white"?.
1..Coffin2..incorrectly3..Temperature4..Mount Everest5..The word "and."6.."new door" = "one word"7..Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow.

ONLINE LEARNING RESOURCES

Cardiology
Heart Sounds:
http://www.blaufuss.org/
Excellent online tutorial for review of heart sounds and EKG
http://www.wilkes.med.ucla.edu/intro.html
http://www-medlib.med.utah.edu/kw/pharm/hyper_heart1.html
ECG Interpretation:
http://www-medlib.med.utah.edu/kw/ecg/index.html
http://www.ecglibrary.com/ecghome.html
Dermatology
http://dermatlas.med.jhmi.edu/derm/
http://www.meddean.luc.edu/lumen/MedEd/medicine/dermatology/melton/atlas2.htm
http://medicine.ucsd.edu/clinicalimg/
Excellent resource for pictures of common skin findings.
Nephrology
http://medlib.med.utah.edu/WebPath/TUTORIAL/URINE/URINE.html http://medlib.med.utah.edu/WebPath/TUTORIAL/URINE/URINE.html
Good overview of urinalysis findings and their significance.
Ophthalmology
http://www.nyee.edu/page_deliv.html?page_no=50
http://www.redatlas.org/main.htm
http://cim.ucdavis.edu/EyeRelease/Interface/eSim.htm
Eye movement simulator; good resource to review nerve palsies.
Pulmonary
Pulmonary examination and auscultation:
http://medocs.ucdavis.edu/IMD/420C/sounds/lngsound.htm
http://www.rale.ca/Repository.htm
Chest Radiography:
http://rad.usuhs.mil/rad/chest_review/index.html
Step-by-step instruction of CXR interpretation
http://info.med.yale.edu/intmed/cardio/imaging/
http://www.vh.org/adult/provider/radiology/NormalRadAnatomy/index.html
http://www.mdchoice.com/xray/xr.asp#chest http://www.mdchoice.com/xray/xr.asp
Pulmonary function test interpretation:
http://www.vh.org/adult/provider/internalmedicine/Spirometry/SpirometryHome.html
Medical Calculators
http://www.intmed.mcw.edu/clincalc.html
http://medcalc3000.com/
Nice tools to have but you will need to know how to do many of these calculations without a Palm or PDA.
Rheumatology
http://www.meddean.luc.edu/lumen/MedEd/medicine/Rheumatology/Hands/Handmain.html
Excellent photo-quiz of hand finding
Other Books
http://www3.accessmedicine.com/Harison's textbook on-line
http://www.merck.com/mrkshared/mmanual/home.jsp
Free access to the Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy
NBME Resources
Orientation Materials for STEP 1 and "shelf" exam
http://www.usmle.org/Orientation/readme.htm
http://www.usmle.org/Orientation/menu.htm
Includes free sample questions and sample test
Other
http://www.library.health.ufl.edu/

CRITICAL CARE MEDICINE TRAINING

The Critical Care Medicine training program at Sir Ganga RamHospital
is multidisciplinary clinical and research training program offered to doctors who have completed MD in Anaesthesia/Pulmonology/ Internal Medicine.
The Department of Critical CareMedicine inducts two Post Doctorate DNB Fellowship students (twoyears duration) and two Post Doctorate Fellowship students (one-yearduration).
The department also offers short-term orientation and basiccourses.The program is centered in a 40-bedded medical surgical ICU run bythe Department of Critical Care Medicine.
All fellowship trainees rotate to other related departments to have a first hand experience of thespecial aspects of critical care medicine.
The Department of CriticalCare Medicine has 5 teaching faculty having years of teaching andclinical experience. The other multidisciplinary faculty is also veryexperienced and is already involved in DNB training in their respectivedepartments

1-year Post-Doctorate Fellowship course,
the applicant must hold MD in Anaesthesia/ Pulmonology/ Internal Medicine and must have at least one-year experience of working in ICU.
3-months basic course and 1-month orientation course
are open to applicants holding MBBS/ Diploma with special interest in Critical Care Medicine.
• Under most circumstances, fellowship course begins in Jan-Feb. Orientation and Basic course dates are available on request.
• Please send application at least 6 months in advance.
• Visit ‘www.sgrh.com’ for more information about hospital and Department of Critical Care MedicineTraining fee:
All applicants will be charged tuition fees.
The total course fee for various courses is:
1-month orientation course Rs 5000
3-months basic course Rs 15000
1 year fellowship Rs 45000
The total course fee has to be deposited at least three months in advance either in cash or by bank draft payable to Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, New Delhi.
Candidate will have to make his/her own arrangement for meals and accommodation.
Write if any help is needed to arrange private accommodation near the hospital.
CONTACT:
Dr BK RaoChairman,
Department of Critical Care Medicine
Sir Ganga Ram Hospital,
Rajinder Nagar,
New Delhi-110060,
INDIA Telephone: 91-11-52252451/52/53/54
Fax: 91-11-52252409
E-mail: ccm@sgrh.com

PG CERTIFICATE COURSE IN OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH

AFIH -Associate Fellow in Industrial Health
Accredited by Director General of Factory Advisory Services and Labour Institute
Ministry of Labour,
Government of IndiaNational Model Centre for Occupational Health Services
Bharat Heavy Electricals Limited
Tiruchirappalli - 620 014
Eligibility for Admission:
MBBS Degree from an Institution recognised by the Medical Council of India.
2. Completion of Internship.
3. Permanent Registration with the State Medical Council/Medical Council of India.
4. Minimum one year experience in Industry/Occupational health related work or 2 years in generalpractice after completion of internship.
seats: 25
fee
Rs.15,000
Accommodation will be provided at the BHEL Premises at a nominal cost (approximately Rs.500per month). A common mess for food will be available on sharing basis. Expenses (for travel,accommodation, etc.) for Industrial visits to industries in Tamil Nadu will have to be borne by thecandidates. Refundable Caution Deposit towards mess, library and hostel (approximately Rs. 2000)will have to be paid at the time of admission
Admission Process:
Interested candidates should apply in the prescribed form available as ‘tear-off’ slip or which can bedownloaded from the BHEL Corporate website (www.bhel.com).
Applications, complete in all respects,along with attested photo copies of certificates should be sent to the Course Director, AFIH COURSE.
Applicants working in Govt. / Public Sector undertakings / Autonomous Bodies, etc., should apply throughproper channel. Incomplete applications will be summarily rejected
Course duration
Three months
For more information, please contact:
Dr NK Chandrasekaran
Course Director,
AFIH Course,
National Model Centre for Occupational Health Services
Bharat Heavy Electricals Limited
Tiruchirappalli - 620 014.
Phone: (0431) 2520375, 2574504 Fax : (0431) 2520296
email: nkc@bheltry.co.in

please be advised that this is to let drs know about this course......kindly contact the address above for complete details

SIGN BOARDS


At the entrance of the large machinery plant:
Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.
Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.
In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
In a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: 15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!
In an office building washroom: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
In the window of an Oregon general store: Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?
Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard — bell out of order.)
On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. - Sisters of Mercy
Outside a country shop in West Virginia: We buy junk and sell antiques.
Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
Moscow hotel lobby across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Roman doctor's office: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Sweden: in the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

GOD'S WAYS!


Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods.
They were discussing their hopes and dreams when
thefirst tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasurechest. I could be filled with gold, silver andprecious gems. I could be decorated with intricatecarving and everyone would see the beauty."
Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the watersand sail to the corners of the world. Everyone willfeel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."
Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to mybranches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."
After a few years of praying that their dreams wouldcome true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees.
When one came to the first tree he said, "This lookslike a strong tree, I think I should be able to sellthe wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting itdown.
The tree was happy, because he knew that thecarpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like astrong tree, I should be able to sell it to theshipyard."
The second tree was happy because he knewhe was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the treewas frightened because he knew that if they cut himdown his dreams would not come true.
One of thewoodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from mytree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down.
When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he wasmade into a feed box for animals. He was then placedin a barn and filled with hay. This was not at allwhat he had prayed for.
The second tree was cut andmade into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being amighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.
Thethird tree was cut into large pieces and left alone inthe dark. The years went by, and the trees forgotabout their dreams.
Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in thefeed box that was made from the first tree.
The manwished that he could have made a crib for the baby,but this manger would have to do. The tree could feelthe importance of this event and knew that it had heldthe greatest treasure of all time. Years later, agroup of men got in the fishing boat made from thesecond tree.
One of them was tired and went to sleep.While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keepthe men safe. '
The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At thistime, the tree knew that it had carried the King ofKings in its boat.
Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It wascarried through the streets as the people mocked theman who was carrying it.
When they came to a stop, theman was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill.
When Sunday came, the treecame to realize that it was strong enough to stand atthe top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.
The moral of this story is that
when things don't seemto be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you.
If you place your trust in Him, He will giveyou great gifts.
Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. '
We don't always know what God's plans are for us.
We justknow that His ways are not our ways, but His ways arealways best.

THE PROBLEM WITH GIRLS

If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
If u Don't she says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;
If u Don't, she says u are from Bangalore.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.
If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u .(very true huh?)
If u don't make love with her., she says! u don't Love her;
If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.
If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!! & sooo > > hard to please!!!!!
If u show this to girls, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....
The moral of the story is....... SHOW THIS TO GIRLS OUT ANYWAY...
Send it to boys also, gives them some laughter ...
Words to remember for a while
Boys are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The girls don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren't as good, but easy.
So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing.
That is why we just have to be a little patient and the right girl, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will come someday

WHO DIES?

"Dies a bit
he who doesn't travel,
he who doesn't read,
he who doesn't listen to music,
he who doesn't find humor in himself.

Dies a bit
he who destroys his own love,
he who doesn't allow himself to help.

Dies a bit
he who passes the days complaining of his bad luck
or detesting the never ending rain.

Dies a bit
he who abandons a project before starting it,
he who does not ask because of fear to make a fool out of himself
he who does not answer a question he knows the answer to.
We keep avoiding death,
reminding us that to be alive requires an effort much greater
than the simple fact of breathing.
Only the ardent patience will help us conquer a splendid happness.It
all depends on how we live it"

Pablo Neruda (Nobel Prize for literature 1971)

Friday, January 4, 2008

I AM AUTOFELLOW

i hope no intro is required........ENJOY

I am autofellow autofellow
Four knowing route fellow
Justice having rate fellow
Good people mix fellow
Nice singing song fellow
Gandhi borning country fellow
Stick take means hunter fellow
Big people's relation fellow
Mercy having mind fellow da
I am all poor's relative fellow da
I am always poor people's relative fellow da
Achak means achak only; Gumuk means gumuk only
Achak means achak only; Gumuk means gumuk only

Town become big, population become big
Bus expecting, half age over
Life become hectic in time, exist in corner of street
Ada eye beat means love coming they telling
You hand clap means auto coming I telling
Front coming look, this three-wheel chariot
Good come and arrive, you trust and climb up
Mercy having mind fellow da
I am always poor people's relative fellow da
Achak means achak only; Gumuk means gumuk only
Achak means achak only; Gumuk means gumuk only

Mummy motherfolk, danger not leave
Heat or cyclone, never I never tell
There there hunger take means, many savoury
Measurement food is one time
For pregnancy I come free mummy
Your child also name one I keep mummy
Letter lacking person ada trusting us and coming
Address lacking street ada auto fellow knowing
Achak means achak only ; Gumuk means gumuk only
Achak means achak only ; Gumuk means gumuk only

INTERESTED IN SHARE MARKET?


Its common to have heard about share market these days.........
for many it is greek and latin....
they do not know where to start, how to start......also many do not know about basics of share market.....
here is a website for those intrested .......
in the tutorial section of this website u can download all the basics and almost all topics free in pdf format after registering
though it is not an indian site,......the market basics are the same
try this site and let me know if it was useful!!

http://www.investopedia.com

STUPID QUESTIONS


BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You te! ll a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it"

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher"

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frank ly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died"

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.

Teacher : " Georg! e Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

DOCTOR!


Doctor, please hurry.
My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
_____
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
_____
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
_____
Man speaks frantically into the phone,
"My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?"
the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
_____
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results.
They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news? Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
_____
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.
He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill.
After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.
"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor.
"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.
"10...9...8...7..."
_____
A man walks into a doctor's office.
He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
_____
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor,
"be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts."
Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too."
Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and
told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

Thursday, January 3, 2008

WHY ME?


Arthur Ashe,

the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got
due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.
From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of whichconveyed:
"Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?
To this Arthur Ashe replied:
The world over --
50M children start playingtennis,
5M learn to play tennis,
500,000 learn professional tennis,
50,000come to the circuit,
5,000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbledon,
4 to semi final,
2 to the finals,
When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD"Why me?".
And today in pain I! should not be asking GOD "Why me?"
Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure Keeps you Humble,
Success keeps you Glowing,
But only God Keeps you Going.....
Keep Going.....